Special Topics in Calamity Physics

21. Football Fever!

2010-05-30T12:41:00.005+02:00

As most of you know, in the run up to the football World Cup, every Friday is Football Friday and we all come to work in our football kit. At the office, we each drew a team and there was a competition whereby each person had to decorate themselves and their desk according to that team. As luck would have it, I drew Italy - which is my team anyway! The competition was on Friday. When I went into the office on Thursday, I saw that one guy (Thabiet - Nigeria) had put up the most amazing display of chocolate soccer balls, strings of flags that he had made and fairy lights. Other people had streamers and clothing..... how do you compete with that? At that point all I had was a large Italian flag, an Italian scarf and a soccer shirt that I had hung from the ceiling.I realised that I had to raise my game drastically!

So after work, I went to the shops to see what I could pick up and to try and come up with some ideas. I had one or two but there was stuff that I wanted that I was battling to find. In the end I had to give up and go home with the few things that I did have. I ended up asking everyone at home to brainstorm and help me out. We came up with the idea to make Italy cookies which were iced by Tina, Ollie and Irene. However, the final brainwave was an idea to take my Vespa to work and show it off as part of the display. I was a bit dubious about that particularly seeing as it was raining at the time and riding in the rain is no fun. Some of my kit (my hard hat) wasn’t ready and Georgios kindly lent me a replacement for the day…… Getting the Vespa in the lift to get to the 6^th floor was a serious mission, but with Tina’s help we managed it.

I think most of my work colleagues were shocked! But they all cheered anyway… so I set up my desk and the judges came round at 11. There were some really fantastic displays – Japan had sushi and Mexico had nachos! Results came out at 12…. And I won Best Desk! Second was Mexico, Japan and Nigeria tied third and England and Brazil got special mention. More pics on Face book soon!

Thanks go to Tina Germanis, Irene Eleftheriou, Oliver Strang, Catherine Biggs and Georgios Michaelides – you guys are the BEST!!! :)

Cult - News - BBC unveils "epic" new sci-fi series - Digital Spy

2010-05-13T22:17:00.000+02:00

Cult - News - BBC unveils "epic" new sci-fi series - Digital Spy
Finally! What looks set to be an epic show with great scenery (!) and eye candy! :)

20. On My Beloved Vespa For Sale

2009-12-10T13:03:00.002+02:00

It's time to sell my scooter and although I am devastated it must be done. So please spread the word. It's a red Vespa LX150 with 800km on the clock in wonderful condition and it's a 2008 model. I'm looking for 48,000 (new ones are 52,000) but will consider cash offers.

19. On Toy Run

2009-11-30T16:09:00.004+02:00

Sun 29 November was the day for the annual Toy Run. It’s where bikers of all shapes and sizes get together to ride with toys for less fortunate kids so that they have something for Christmas. And it’s quite a spectacle as you get bikes of all shapes and sizes, from the sublime to the ridiculous. I think there must have been over 3500 bikes this year and they made quite a sight as they processed along the route and then into the grounds of Maynardville.

I did it with the VWS dressed in full firefighter regalia and we flew our flag – 7 of us. They all had bikes and I was on my beloved Vespa. It’s such fun to ride with literally thousands of bikes where the road has been cleared for you and there are people lining the streets waving. Toy Run goes a long way to dispel the bad reputation of motorbikers.

Anyway, we pulled into Maynardville and the VWS guys parked their bikes in the area we’d set aside with all our equipment – the VWS has a team on standby there in case of a fire, so we have pumps and water there in case the need arises. We also have a scaffold which offers the best view!

You can see pictures here.

Soundtrack of the Day: Thunder – AC/DC

18. On Exes and Pain

2009-11-30T16:04:00.000+02:00

My darling ex boyfriend has got himself a new girlfriend. We've been broken up for 6 years now, which is as long as we were going out, so you'd think this wouldn't be a problem. But it is. Mostly because we're very close and the reasons that we broke up.

I need to backtrack a little here. He's Jewish and I'm Greek so that is where the trouble started. Everything was fine when we first started going out but then things got serious. He used to break up with me every varsity vac and inevitably we'd get together a week or so after I got back.... that was a dumb idea. I know he was trying to do that because I'd go back to Zim and out of sight out of mind but it never worked.

Eventually though, it got to a point where now we wanted to get married. This after a major breakup that lasted 6 months. His parents weren't thrilled to say the least. I think they came just short of tearing their clothes. My parents totally freaked out as well - and they had more right to freak out than my ex's folks because the compromise he and I had reached in order to get married was that I was going to convert reform.

In the end though, my parents said they were not going to lose a daughter over this. His parents were another story. They are Orthodox Jews although they are quite relaxed about it. The only made their house kosher literally one or two months before the ex and I told them we wanted to get married. So they are not what you'd call devout in my opinion.

Reform Judaism is a milder form and more liberal - things like men and women are considered equal and stuff like that. Also the conversion process takes a year and isn't so stringent whereas in Orthodox Judaism it takes 3 years and even then they may not accept you and you always have someone looking over your shoulder. It would mean that I would have to move house just to be able to walk to the shul on Friday nights and Saturday mornings. In other words, a whole lifestyle change while all my ex would have to do is... well... nothing. Didn't sound fair to me.

So we agreed that Reform was a compromise and he would do the conversion with me. You would have thought that would have appeased his parents but they still went bananas when they heard. Life at home was terrible for him and he spent most of his waking hours at my place. His parents wanted an Orthodox conversion and nothing less (and even that was less ideal than a nice Jewish girl which was the impression I got). So the pressure was on. I was into the conversion about 2 months when he came to me and asked me to please consider Orthodox conversion. This really threw me because it meant that he was going back on the agreement and that I would be making the greater sacrifice.

He persuaded me to see an Orthodox rabbi – we went together and I was seriously impressed – he was intelligent and articulate and really interesting. He explained the situation and there wasn’t much that was new to me about the conversion at this point. So I sat and thought about it for about 3 days and then I told the ex that I couldn’t do it. And that it was unreasonable for him to expect me to change my whole life so drastically when he wasn’t going to do anything different. The reason, he said, is that he wanted Jewish kids and Reform in this country isn’t really accepted. The demographic is 20% Reform against 80% Orthodox and he was worried that the kids would suffer as a result. There was ZERO chance of him converting to Greek Orthodoxy which would have been the easy route. He said that he could never do the conversion himself and he wouldn’t expect me to do it but that if I wouldn’t do it there was no point in continuing the relationship. And that was that.

But there was nothing wrong with our relationship. We still loved each other. People accused us of being like an old pair of shoes together. And they could see that there was still a lot of chemistry between us. So 6 years later, here am I in this position where he is moving on although I don’t know how serious it is.

About 3 weeks ago I was having a perfectly good Saturday at the beach when I came home and checked my email and he had sent one that morning telling me that he was seeing someone and he thought I should know. After all this time it hit me like a sucker punch in the stomach. He’s seen other women before and they haven’t worked out but I have a feeling about this one.

Stupid me, I asked 101 questions about her. What was she like? What did she do? Where was she from? Most of it was out of a sick fascination, similar to that of people that watch accidents. It wasn’t going to be any good for me, the more I heard the more it was going to hurt and yet I couldn’t help myself. It’s like cutting yourself and you can’t stop. The pain is the same. I’m pretty sure he didn’t know what it was doing to me otherwise I don’t think he would have answered. Or that’s what I like to think. Because I don’t know how far he’s moved along. Or if he still loves me and has decided to leave our life together for the Greek tragedy that it was and realize that no one will ever match up to me and settle.

Isn’t that the way it always is? You break up with someone and even if you hate their guts, and even if you’ve moved on to better things, you still want them to spend the rest of their lives alone and pining for you. Ego is a strange thing. And that in some sick way is what I want. If I can’t have him, no one else should. He should forever be loving me from afar. Damn it, he should love me close up. I guess that the disbelief and denial stems from the fact that I can’t believe that something so special could just disappear. Or that he thinks he can find it again. I just want to think of him as moving through life martyred that he couldn’t be with his true love (me) but has settled with another nice Jewish girl because that’s what society dictates.

Which brings me to my thoughts on that. Why doesn’t he have the balls to stand up to his parents and give two fingers to society and say “I’m marrying this girl no matter what because I love her”. Why can’t he let the kids get old enough brought up in a house that practices both Jewish and Greek Orthodox traditions and let them decide for themselves if they want to convert or not? Is it because he doesn’t have the balls? Or is it because he doesn’t love me enough? Either way, he doesn’t come off looking too great and yet still I can’t let go. I mean, if he doesn’t have the balls to stand up to his parents at 32 years of age I have no business being there.

And then there’s the other side of the argument. Maybe I don’t love him enough to give him what he wants which is an Orthodox conversion so that his kids can be Jewish. Is that true? Is that a valid question? It doesn’t feel like it.

So now he has his nice Jewish girlfriend far, far away on Mud Island. Thank God he isn’t in the same city as me otherwise I would have been crucified by now. But he’s coming home in December. I asked him if I would see him and he said yes, why not, but I don’t think he got what I was asking. Which was (a) if it was appropriate that he see me and (b) if he wanted to see me. It could mean that he can see me because it won’t bring back an old rush of feelings and start the intensity of the whole mess again. Which means that he doesn’t love me anymore. And that is the knife twisting in my chest. I’ll have to wait until December to see.

Also, we are close. We email every day or chat on Skype. He’s the first person I run to if I have a problem. It might not be healthy but that’s the way it is. And if things with the girlfriend get serious I doubt that she’s going to let that continue or if it’s appropriate. I’d like to be on terms with him that I get invited to the wedding as I was with one of my other exes. But even that might not happen. So not only am I scared of losing the love of my life (if I haven’t lost him already) but I could lose my best friend too.

Today he told me that he was going for dinner with his girlfriend at her parents’ house. She lives at home, but not only was that twisting the knife, it was pulling it out again of my chest bringing bits of flesh with it. The pain is indescribable so I can’t pretend that it’s over to myself.

I just wish he would catch a wake up and realize that it’s me he should be with, but realistically I don’t think that’s going to happen because he thinks that he can find what we had with someone else. What we had was really special and rare. And I don’t think he values it enough – I was his first serious girlfriend. As things stand at the moment, I am his ONLY serious girlfriend. What does he know? HE just doesn’t see it which leads to my frustration.

I need to move on. It’s just that I can’t. And so the knife in my chest continues to twist.

Soundtrack of the Day: Love Bites – Def Leppard. Doesn’t it just.

17. On Miracles and Blisters

2009-11-18T00:29:00.004+02:00

Well, amazement! I had the FINAL fitness evaluation on Monday, and praise be to the universe, I MADE IT! Only just, but hey I get to fight fires and that's the main thing. They lied by the way. It's not 4.2km, it's 4.7km and believe me, you feel every blood centimetre of it. I think the main reason that I made it though was because of my team. Catherine and Winston had gone on ahead, but I was at the back (once again) with Adrian and Marko and they would not let me fall behind. There's one section of uphill that is truly tough and I really battle with it and they literally pushed me up the hill to make sure I was going to make it. As Adrian said "We can't have you sitting in the control room the whole season." That's my team. And that's what makes firefighting all worth it.

The last bit was truly the worst though because by then I had developed blisters on both heels but the one on the right foot was killing me. I was in serious pain and trying to keep up the pace.... ow ow ow ow. When I finally got home I nearly screamed as I was taking the boot off because it was rubbing against my heel and when I finally got my sock off I saw what the problem was. I had a blister the size of a 50c piece (i.e. huge) and not only had it popped but the flap of skin was now firmly stuck to the open bit which was sticky. I couldn't even find a plaster that had a non sticky bit big enough to cover it, so it's been open all this time and even when the hem of the back of my jeans touches it, it's agony. So I have been walking around (or trying not to) feeling very sorry for myself.

This has highlighted the need for new boots though.... so let's hope I get a job soon so I can afford the damn things. Speaking of jobs, one of my agents called and asked if she could forward my CV to a company for me. I had to laugh because this company is the merged version of my old team at one of the companies I used to work for! I must say, however, that I wouldn't mind going back at all - I was very happy there. I only left because I thought I was going to a better opportunity. So let's see how this one turns out...

Soundtrack of the Day: Unfinished Sympathy - Massive Attack.

16. On Movies and Michael Jackson

2009-11-14T23:04:00.007+02:00

I've been watching a lot of movies lately - mostly because I now have shin splints from that stupid fitness evaulation. I started off watching the series Long Way Down with Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman. These two ride motorcycles from the north of Scotland all the way down through Europe and Africa to Cape Town. It really made for interesting viewing, seeing as they passed through 18 countries and how they were different... and how they were the same. One thing in Africa: borderposts are a nightmare. Having passed through the Zimbabwean border post many, many times I can testify to this fact. I was actually quite upset that they bypassed Zim and hardly talked about the Victoria Falls which are one of the seven wonders of the world. Maybe next time. One thing about the series was that it made me want to do the same thing! I'd love to take 3 months off and go through Africa - or Asia - or across the States. I think it's such a cool thing to do. Sure I have loads of time to do something like that now that I am unemployed, problem is that I don't have the moola so I guess that plan's going to have to go on hold.

I finally got to see the new Star Trek. I have to say that I was very impressed - the actors were great (Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto) and carried the mantle of the previous cast (especially that of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy). I loved that Leonard Nemoy appeared as an older version of himself in the movie. This movie was almost a prequel to the original series in that it shows how Kirk and Spock first started out. Great storyline, and of course, great special effects. Oh, and did I mention that there were hotties? It kind of makes me want to haul out the old series and watch it again.

I also finally got to see Wolverine. I seem to miss all the movies I want to watch when they are on circuit so I have to wait until they come out on DVD. The advantage is, however, that I can enjoy them in the comfort of my own home. Another movie with hotties, especially Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds. It was a great action movie and was also a preview of the Wolverine character in X Men. Although the story went along at a cracking pace, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. What I did like about the movie though was that it showed how Logan (Wolverine) became the way he did as he was a product of his past experiences so it was a brilliant introduction to his character in X Men.

And then there was Michael Jackson's This is It! It's footage taken from the rehearsals before Michael's 50 city tour - he died 8 days before it kicked off. What can I say? The music, of course, was excellent. And Michael's performance was unsurpassed. It's hard to believe that he was 50 - he still dances like he was 15 and makes it look so easy. The dancers he had were absolutely amazing and the lighting and back screen graphics as well as all the special effects indicated that it would have been a spectacular show. Truly amazing. My favourite was Thriller though, with the dancing zombies and all the wonderful special effects. What can I say? The man is a legend.

Aside from that peeps there is really not much to report; it's been a quiet weekend and with the weather still not cooperating there's no beach time involved either. So as you can see I will still be parked firmly in front of the TV for the remainder of it!

Soundtrack for the Day: Thriller - Michael Jackson. Obviously.

15. On the SECOND Fitness Evaluation and New Moon

2009-11-12T23:20:00.007+02:00

Today was the interview with the agent about that appetising job that I mentioned before. Turns out that a previous agent also put my CV forward so I'm going to have to tell him to hold off. But what did help is that he sent me the job spec - and I have to admit it makes me very nervous - because although it is heading into the direction of what I would like to do, I am not at this moment capable of doing it, i.e. I've had no actual experience. Ideally what I would need is someone doing the same thing to work under so I can learn how it's done and then I'd be up and running in 6 months. I could in theory teach myself to do what needs to be done, but I can see 16 hour days and weekends of work and that's more stress than I think I could deal with. I'd probably land up back in the clinic I reckon. So, given that my CV has gone in, let's see if they want to meet with me. More holding thumbs.

I finally made it to the traffic department today having decided that posting cheques back and forth was not the way to go to get the situation resolved any time this year. As per usual I had to stand in a queue for ages but that's par for the course when it comes to municipal stuff I guess. Anyway, after paying R720 odd, all I have to do now is remember to stick the damn licence disc on the windscreen and hopefully that is the end of that.

Today was also the day that I had to retake the fitness evaluation. Ugh. It was at 6pm and at 5.30 it started bucketing down. Because of course we are still having kak weather here in Cape Town. So I was really hoping that they were going to cancel the damn thing, but hey, no such luck. By the time I got there it had stopped raining mercifully. Anyway there were 3 of us plus Rob who was taking the evaluation. We set off (this time with me having emptied my pack of everything except the water this time although admittedly it didn't feel that much lighter) and it was OK at first, but once again I started falling behind. I caught up with them at the first rest stop but after that I lost sight of them and continued on my own. Luckily I'd done the route before and knew the way, but although I was pumping it I wasn't sure it was going to be enough as I had no idea how I was doing. Plus like an idiot I didn't note the time that we left. And then to top it all, it started raining again. Lovely. Just the way I like to spend my day.

I had prepared as much as possible by using my sister's boots which were a size bigger, putting plasters on the areas that would blister like the last time and wearing 3 pairs of socks instead of 2. Not that it did me the least bit of good. My feet were killing me towards the end although not as badly as the first time. I got in and there was no one to be seen although there was a meeting going on at the base. They told me everyone was at the back and I went through to find the 2 guys there but no Rob. Eventually he came and said that he ran back to find me. It seems that he didn't know when the guys got back but they seemed to have made the margin. I, however, was dicey, even though he coudn't find me and probably missed me. I could have been borderline, but no, I have to do it a THIRD time. The humiliation of it. I don't think anyone had to even do it a second time, never mind a third. If I don't pass the one on Monday I am screwed because it means that I can't fight fires this year. To say I will be bleak is a severe understatement.

Anyway, after all that drama, I consoled myself with some sushi takeaways and a viewing of the finale of SA's Got Talent with some good mates. And a white almond Magnum mini. Less calories than the big one. Ah well, at least there's the weekend between now and Monday. *sigh*

Big excitement for the new Twilight movie, New Moon. Even if it's released a week later than the rest of the world because, I don't know, we're a million miles away and only accessible by ox drawn cart. I have seen the track listing for the soundtrack and on the basis of that alone, I reckon this movies is going to be a hit. I mean, they have Muse on for a second time! Plus there are hotties in the movie too and everyone knows that doesn't hurt at all!

Soundtrack of the Day: Leave Out All the Rest - Linkin Park (still on the Twilight theme)

14. On DVD Players and Job Hunting

2009-11-11T19:15:00.005+02:00

Big excitement in the land! My DVD player came back and after paying an exhorbitant amount (an out of warranty charge, the charge for the repair and the charge to reconnect it) we are happily reunited. After 3 and a half weeks. No more watching of crap movies on SABC for me! DVDs all the way.

We reunited by an honarary watching of Twilight (for the second time) in preparation for the New Moon movie coming out on 27 November. Clearly once again, SA is behind the rest because the movie premieres worldwide on 20 November. That's what you get for living in a 3rd world country. That and almost a month to fix a DVD player.

It's a gorgeous day in Cape Town today. 13 degrees, 35km/h winds and intermittent rain. Perfect for the beach. WTF IS UP WITH THE WEATHER? Everyone else seems to have summer except us and I am seriously pissed off about it. This severely limits my options to surfing the Daily Mail Online, a truly quality publication with all the serious news. Not. I'm turning into a tabloid reader! Help! I need hot weather before my brain gets mushier than it already is!

On the job front, there's a job out there that looks appetizing but I'm a bit concerned because the pay bracket is a bit high indicating one of two things (1) I'm underqualified for the job or (2) I was severely underpaid. I'd like to believe it was (2) but it's more likely to be (1) - which means that I won't get the job. I might not get it anyway because it's an EE position but it doesn't hurt to try. I am actually in that nasty place where I have enough experience to not be a junior (I'm too expensive anyway) but I'm not experienced enough to go for the decent jobs on offer because they want more experience than I have. Catch 22. I'm going for an interview with the agent tomorrow about the job so we'll see afterwards how the whole thing goes. I guess that some holding of thumbs is in order. And maybe a throwing of bones.

Soundtrack for the Day: Supermassive Black Hole - Muse. On the soundtrack of Twilight. Legend!

13. On More Traffic Fine Issues

2009-11-10T17:08:00.004+02:00

You might remember the run-in I had with traffic fines earlier in October.....well it appears that my woes are not over. After FINALLY getting my chequebook from the bank, writing the cheques and sending them off, I get a fat envelope from the City of Cape Town telling me that they are sending my cheques back as I hadn't taken into account the fine for the licence being expired!

At this point my blood pressure shot right through the top of my head. I now owe the City of Cape Town the grand total of R720.45. This from an initial amount of R477 so they decided to charge me R243.45 in penalties and arrears! This means that they didn't give me the 21 days of grace like they do when it comes to paying your licence so it means that they are as bad as Mastercard and Visa when it comes to payments/fines/interest. Well that's shattered any faith I had in the world. Now I have to write another cheque and hopefully they will like this one. *sigh* On a brighter note, if I am not mistaken, now I don't have to pay the R1,000 fine.

Soundtrack for the Day: Saltwater - Chicane

12. On More Mushy Brains

2009-11-10T12:08:00.004+02:00

As per my previous post, I definitely have mushy brains. Just found out completely by accident that I have been double dosing on my medication for the last MONTH. The only reason I know this is that when I went to the pharmacy for a refill, the medical aid system wouldn't let me have any drugs because it was "too early to fill" according to the pharmacist. I kept on wondering why I was running out all the time - and then I finally read the instructions on the box. Mush I tell you.

At least now all those weird side effects might go away. The shaking was getting out of hand!

Soundtrack for the Day: I'm Going Slightly Mad - Queen

11. On Mushy Brains and Kak Weather

2009-11-08T22:11:00.006+02:00

My brain has turned into mush. Or maybe it's the weather that has done it. Firstly, WTF is going on with the weather here? It's 15 degrees, raining non stop and windy. Did we move to the UK and nobody told me? This is ridiculous. Even worse, it's supposed to continue until NEXT Monday so there's another week of this hideousness. Oh joy.

Anyway. I was going to meet some friends today - one of my mates' sister is here with her baby and I needed to say goodbye as she was going back to the UK. They live out in Somerset West. Now I knew that another mate was going over there as well for the same reason, so when she called to find out where I was, I naturally assumed that she was there in Somerset West with the rest of the clan. Rule no. 1: Never assume anything. She said to me: "We're waiting for you here so don't be too long in coming!" So in the rain and the cold I got into my trusty Tazzerati and off I set for Somerset West. It's about 45km out of Cape Town and in this weather it's advisable not to drive fast (unlike idiots from Jhb) so it took about an hour or so. I got to the gate and was slightly baffled when no one answered. It was at this point that some nasty suspicions started to grow in my mind... I put a call through to her and asked her where they were and it turned out that they were at her house. Which is in Fresnaye. Which is in Cape Town.

Somewhere along the line, I'd missed the part where my mates from Somerset West were coming out to Cape Town. We agreed at this point that they would leave Fresnaye and meet me at my house in Rondebosch to say goodbye en route back to Somerset West. So once more, I got in my little car and drove an hour back home. A 2 hour round trip on a Sunday afternoon. My brain is definitely mush.

This morning was also the Big Walk. The Volunteer Wildfire Services sends out two teams: one at the finish to watch out for fires (fat chance in this weather) and one to walk. Last year I walked and this year I had decided to do the same. This is another example of where my brain turned to mush; I was supposed to go and fetch the goodie bags and race numbers on Thursday. I completely forgot and only remembered that it needed doing at all when my mate asked me if I'd done it. Then she said no worries that I can go on Friday morning. Surprise, I forgot. Luckily we spoke on Friday afternoon and this time we went together after she finished work. So there we were, race numbers ready, fire uniforms ready (I'd even had the badges resewn in the correct place as per VWS policy for the occasion!) and all systems go. Except that it started raining on Saturday afternoon. And it didn't stop.

Now we were in a quandary. To go or not to go. After all, it was supposed to be a team thing. Late on Saturday night we decided that the best thing would be to set our alarms for 6.45am (the race started at 8) and wake up and check the weather and then decide. I struggled to sleep that night so when that alarm went off it was the last thing I wanted to hear. I hauled myself out of bed, went and had a look and it was still raining. You know that stupid pissy little rain where the drops are so small that you can barely see them and yet you still get thoroughly soaked... and it doesn't let up for days. Like they have in the UK. No wonder the English are such a miserable bunch. If I had that for 11 and a half months a year I'd be pretty pissy too. Executive decision. I went straight back to bed. My mate woke up at 5ish and made the same executive decision - she just turned the alarm off! Great minds...

With the weather predicted to still be like it is in the UK for the next WEEK, there is no chance that I am going to get any less mushy in the head if indeed it is the weather causing the problem. So if you want anything coherent from me, you will have to wait till it's beach weather again.

Soundtrack for the Day: Revealed - Blank & Jones with Steve Kilbey (what I was listening to in the car on my roundtrip to Somerset West and back)

10. On Fitness Evaluations and Inglourious Basterds

2009-10-31T00:37:00.006+02:00

Yesterday saw me doing my fitness evaluation for fire training. Fire season is nearly upon us and as a member of the Volunteer Wildfire Services*, I have to pass all my evaluations and do a required number of scenario training sessions. I've done all of them except for fitness and given that I smoke and haven't exercised since I did the half marathon (see previous post) I was understandably nervous. The evaluation involved walking 4.2km UP Table Mountain from Newlands Fire Base and down through Rhodes Memorial in the boots used for firefighting as well as carrying the full backpack you would use at a fire including the mandatory 4 litres of water we have to carry. And all this in 50 min carrying a handtool. A walk in the park right? Ha!

So at 5pm on Thursday evening we set out and I must say it's a lovely route although I was wheezing at this point so I wasn't really interested in the view. There was just so much UP! And it's rough track, with lots of rock steps - my pack started to feel really heavy at this point. I fell behind not too soon after the start and I knew I was in trouble but there wasn't much I could do because I couldn't go any faster. To injury to insult (and yes, that was deliberate, I didn't get it the wrong way round), those hideous fire boots of mine started to give me blisters on both feet - toes and heels and my backpack started to chafe. Bottom line, I made it in one piece - 1h and 1min - 11min over time and now I have to do the bloody thing again. FFS! I've been fighting fires for 4 years now and I've never had to go at that pace - and I drop my back pack somewhere safe while I'm putting out the flames anyway.

On getting back to base I was chagrined to find out that everyone except me had simply emptied out their backpacks for the evaluation and ONLY had the 4 litres of water. And I was the only sucker carrying 10kg or more. Plus I never carry 4l of water, I usually carry 2l and barely drink even half of that over 9 hours by which time we've been fed and watered by base. Plus the main pack arrived 3 minutes late so it's obviously no walk in the park. Undeniably I am unfit, but I really don't want to do that eval again - not like I have a choice. I'm just going to do the last one possible so maybe I have a chance to get my fat lazy ass off the couch and maybe get a bit fitter. Life is a bitch sometimes.

Onto a more cheerful topic, today was perfect weatherwise. No wind, and warm and sunny without a cloud in the sky. Which means only one thing. BEACH. But as usual there was admin to do - after dropping my tax return at my financial advisor (yes I know, mechanics cars never work and us finance types can't manage our own cash) I felt that I had done sufficiently enough admin to warrant a visit to Camps Bay. And it was perfect. It was warm without being hot (although I love hot), there was not a breath of wind, the beach wasn't too full, I found parking straight away and the sea was calm and flat. It was the kind of day where you look at the sea and all you can see is sparkle,sparkle and it looks like the water has diamonds on it. Just perfect. Life can be fabulous sometimes as well. And so I plonked my fat lazy ass there for the rest of a gorgeous, perfect afternoon. Not a lot more you can ask for!

We'd booked to see Inglourious Basterds (and yes my spelling is correct, take it up with Tarantino if you have issues) and all I can say is that after some very average movies, old Quentin has redeemed himself. Brad was great (although I have to say, the man has aged - must be all those kids) but the man who stole the show was Christoph Waltz who was beyond brilliant. He was just.... brilliant. The movie was funny, witty, highly entertaining and didn't have as much gore as usual. Not that I object to the gore. Just go watch it. So all in all, Friday was a great day. Roll on weekend!

Soundtrack for the Day: Lazy Summer Days - Elcho (Cafe del Mar Vol XXII) especially for the beach.

*For more detail on what I do for the VWS and what being on an actual fire is like, read this post.

9. On Windows and Traffic Fines

2009-10-28T23:00:00.007+02:00

Today the SA Police Force and PG Glass are on my shitlist. As some of you may know, my bathroom window shattered on Sunday due to the wind - and now there is nothing between me showering and all and sundry that drive along Liesbeek Parkway. So on Monday morning I call around and get some quotes.

The cheapest was from PG Glass (cheap at R695 that is) and they said that all their guys were out but they would call first thing. Surprise surprise I got no call on Tuesday, so I called them again today. The lady on the end of the line said that all the guys were out but as soon as one of them was back she'd send him through. Which lead me to expect that someone that afternoon. Not so. When no one had pitched by 5pm, I called them again only to be told that that's not what the lady said, she said that they could only come tomorrow because all the guys were out. Yeah right. And then she said she would send them first thing. All I can say is they'd better.

And then we come to the SAPS. I already have one traffic ticket for an expired car licence (see previous posts) so I've been keeping my car off the road and parking in private lots like mall carparks etc. So this evening I go over to my mate's to have an early pizza and catch Lipstick Jungle (yes I like the show but not as much as Battlestar Galactica, OK?). The parking lot in front of her block is full so I am forced to park in the street. Actually I am forced to park on the pavement because all the parking in the street is taken (where are these people? I never saw a soul). This is at 7.15pm. Emphasis on the pm. When I get back to my car at 10.15pm, there is a little pink piece of paper waving in the wind stuck to my window. Seriously. So between 7.15 and 10.15 some sadistic bastard of a policeman with supposedly nothing better to do went around all the cars in the neighbourhood and looked at the licence discs? Come on. There's plenty of big crime here in SA - go and catch some REAL criminals and leave the rest of us who pay our taxes (even if they are a bit late) alone.

Soundtrack of the Day: Supernova - Mr Hudson feat. Kanye West

8. On the Crappiness of Local TV

2009-10-27T20:29:00.008+02:00

Tonight's viewing choices for prime time are 2 local soapies that are terrible in languages that I don't understand which leaves me to choose between WWE Afterburn Wrestling and yet another local programme about African stuff that doesn't manage to hold my interest for more than 30 seconds. And this is what we either pay our TV licences for or go to jail for 6 months? There is something severely wrong with this picture.

Which leads me onto another dilemma. The monthly fees at the gym are going up to R485 a month which I have decided is excessive. I don't go to the gym, so in effect I am donating R485 directly to Richard Branson every month and he has more than enough money. And at that price it now becomes a choice between DSTV and the gym. So it's a choice between better TV and my health. But given that local TV is so shitty, it's more a choice between my mental health and my physical health. And that's a no brainer. Sanity wins every time!

Soundtrack of the Day: Paparazzi - Lady Gaga

7. On a Day in the Life

2009-10-26T22:45:00.007+02:00

It's about time that I maybe started writing in my blog a bit more often - especially as I am still gainfully unemployed - a state which is causing me much concern. Not because I have nothing to do, but because I have nothing to spend. Or pay bills with for that matter. So if you are offering a job, I want to hear from you!

What's a day like in the life of the unemployed? Sleeping in is one of them. Wondering around the house in your PJs till midday is another provided that I don't have a pressing engagement with my GP or the grocery store. A lot of time looking on the internet at career websites. And of course, the watching of DVDs. Which is hard to do when your DVD player has given up the ghost and duly informs you that there is "NO DISC" when you know that you put one in. Is this a bit like when you put a pair of socks in the washing machine and only one comes out?

Anyway, the DVD player has gone off to be fixed and it must be something serious because it's taken them a week already.... how hard can it be? So I am forced to watch local TV and let me tell you it is CRAP. It's October which is an excuse to put on the cheesiest B type Halloween movies on - seriously one Friday night I was forced between choosing Jaws or Dracula: Dead and Loving It. I chose life and went to bed.

A typical day would involve going to the beach if the weather would cooperate which at the moment it isn't. Today for instance, the weather went from cool and cloudy, to warm and sunny, to cold and dark, to thunderstormy and gale force wind, and back to cool and cloudy again. What do you wear on a day like that? Needless to say, I am still the same shade of pale white that I have been all winter. And just as grumpy.

Other than that, a day in the life seems to involve more downs than ups. One the one decent day with sun and warmth and no wind my little sister through some serious arm twisting (and I mean serious because the beach is always my no. 1 priority) managed to persuade me to go with her to get half price sushi for lunch. So off we went. And serendipitously we found parking right in front of the restaurant. Impressive. We go into the restaurant, place our orders and sit in the lovely warm sunshine waiting for gastronomous fulfilment. About 15 minutes later our waiter comes to us and tells us that they have run out of fish. Seriously. But if we wait 45 minutes, they'll have more and they can fill our order. We chose to go elsewhere at that point.

Unfortunately it meant that we now were going to have full price sushi, so this was becoming an expensive little luncheon. We had our sushi and went back to the car only for me to find an unwanted pink ticket on the window. It turns out that my car licence disc had expired and I now owed the City of Cape Town R500 for the privilege.

The way it works is that you have 21 days of grace to pay the licence. My licence expired on 30 Sep but I knew I had some time. I always pay by posting a cheque and the reason I hadn't done it was because my cheque book was finished and I needed to collect a new one from the bank. And we all know how much I love going to the bank. When I eventually did go to the bank to collect it they told me that they had destroyed it because I took too long to come and collect it. So I had to order a new one which would take a week. The 21 day grace period ended on 21 Oct. I got fined on 22 Oct. My cheque book was ready on 23 Oct. Lovely. That turned out to be the most expensive lunch I have ever had. And I still blame Standard Bank for it. I knew I should never have gone against my gut. Beach always first. Lesson learnt.

Then yesterday the wind was seriously gale force and gusting. So much so that it slammed our bathroom window shut and shattered it completely. We got an almight fright and all the glass ended up in the bath which was quite fun to clean... and now it's going to cost about R1000 to fix - and I suspect that the price will go up once they see that we live on the second floor.

So when people say, "Oh, you are so lucky to be unemployed, it's like being on holiday," don't be surprised when they get the death stare. Bru, it's not fun at all.

Soundtrack of the Day: Bulletproof - La Roux

6. On Blog Action Day

2009-10-15T15:41:00.007+02:00

October 15th is International Blog Action Day where bloggers are asked to post about a topic worldwide - this year's topic is about climate change. View the details here. I thought I'd add my 5c worth (even though South African 5c isn't worth as much as US 5c).

I'm sure you've all heard somehow how climate change is going to affect us and how the earth can't sustain us if we continue with things the way they are (emissions etc etc) so I'm not going to harp upon that - I'm going to bring it down to a more personal level - i.e. how it affects ME.

Cape Town has a mediterranean climate meaning that it rains in the winter and we have hot dry summers. Well, usually anyway. In the last few years the winters have become longer with more bouts of flooding and the summers have become hotter with lots of fires - but it also rains now in summer which it never used to before. To make it worse, the summers are getting shorter. For a beach baby like me this is very bad news. Last time I looked it was impossible to get a tan when it's raining. (Oh and don't go on about skin cancer etc, I don't want to hear it. I also smoke. Get over it.)

What this means is that the climate is becoming tropical which is how it is in the regions to the north of Cape Town with wet rainy summers and dry winters that have warm days and freezing nights. Hardly beach conditions.

On a more serious note though, because the climate here is mediterranean, it's perfect wine country and the wine farmers are starting to see their grapes rot on the vine because of the rain in the summer - so a large economic impact is getting to be felt as a result. The simple solution to fix this would be to move the vineyards further south, but last time I looked it was pretty difficult to cultivate a vineyard in the sea - because there is no land further south than Cape Town so we have a problem.

In short, I want to appeal to Obama to look at climate change more seriously and do something about it because of this. He won a Nobel prize didn't he? He needs to address climate change so that 1. I can drink more wine and 2. I can go to the beach. Two very excellent reasons.

Soundtrack of the Day: This is the World We Live In - Genesis

5. On Running Marathons and Other Incidentals

2009-07-13T17:05:00.004+02:00

This past weekend I went to Knysna to run the Forest Half Marathon. Bear in mind that I managed to miss 5 weeks of the 8 week training programme to run 21km, so I wasn't exactly in what you would call good shape. Nevertheless everything was booked, so I went. We got up at 4am, had breakfast and caught the bus to the start. It was pitch black at this point and fairly cold although not as cold as it had been in previous years (or so I heard.)

After sitting around (whereupon I had 4 cigarettes) for what seemed like ages in the dark watching the sun rise, we moved to the start for the 8am gun to get us going. At this point I already knew that there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to run 21km, but I was pretty sure that I could at least walk the route. At 8am, we were off and I started walking, mostly because at this point it was uphill. I ended up walking most of the way as it turned out and my excuse was that I was distracted by the trees. The Knysna route is one of the most beautiful in the world, going through the forest along a dirt trail.

By now, most people had passed me as I was agonisingly slow, but I wasn't too concerned although I knew there was a good chance that I wouldn't make the 3 and a half hour cut off time. I had tried to go to the loo as I was advised beforehand but without success - and I hate those portable loos with a passion as well. However, about 3km into the race, nature placed a call. I thought for some reason that I would be able to hold it in for another 17km. Silly me.

By now there was no one around me except for a guy and a lady behind me so I must have been close to last it seemed. Eventually at the 8km mark, I caught up with two girls who turned out to be a bundle of fun. We chatted and laughed and carried on our merry way, mostly walking and occasionally running the downhill bits. By now, nature's call was most insistent and I could see up ahead around 10km that we were leaving the forest and joining the marathon runners on the road. It was now or never, so I disappeared into the bushes for a pee. Ah sweet relief! I know no one saw me because at that point I was last... Just as well I went when I did because there was no chance to go after that. As we passed one of the water stations we definitely must have been last because they were cleaning up and one guy asked if I cared to help at which point I asked him if he wanted to swap. He declined. I wonder why.

We carried on through the golf estate with breathtaking views and at one point one of the girls asked me if I had any cigarettes. I did, because I was worried that when I got to the finish it would be hours before I had access to tobacco and nicotine. She suggested we have one. The funniest sight as we shared a cigarette was the marathon runners coming past us craning their necks in disbelief. Can't a girl have a smoke in peace?

By now, it had started to rain and I discovered that my waterproof jacket wasn't. It was sticking to me like a cheap tent. I felt like a drowned rat (and on getting back to the hotel later discovered that I looked like one too). The weather the day before had been sunny and warm with the evening being cool and someone said that it hadn't rained since November. So why it chose to rain on the day we ran is quite beyond me. Of all the days! We got to a water station to find that they were serving brown sherry so we stopped for a couple of tots before continuing on our merry and wet way.

As we got further it became evident that we would not make the cutoff time but I couldn't bring myself to move any faster either being so wet and cold. My hands had frozen into a bunch of blue bananas by now.

Just before we got to the finish, some friends of the girls I was with drive past in a car and jumped out to escort us to the finish line, encouraging us. As we got onto the field where the finish line was we broke into a run which turned into a sprint as we heard the commentator say "1 minute to go". Initially I thought this was the cutoff time and that we may have actually made it, but with 12 seconds to go there was still 100m to cover so we didn't make it. And we found out later that it was the 4 hour cutoff for the marathon runners!

Still, we made it through and once we were at the finish, the guys we were with gave us their medals because we weren't going to get any as we had finished late. Then someone pressed something into my hand and I saw that it was a medal! I think they might have confused me with a marathon runner, but I took it anyway!

Once I had met up with my friends and tried not to fall over, the first thing I did was light a cigarette - but smoking in the rain is not really all that fun, particularly when your fingers are so cold it's almost impossible to light it.

Still, it was a great experience, having made the route in 4 hours and coming 3rd last! (smoke breaks, rain and peeing in the bushes notwithstanding) The best part after that was the hot bath that I ran as soon as I got back to the hotel. The atmosphere on the run (walk!) was great, people and runners alike were so friendly and despite the rain and the cold, it was a truly fantastic experience. For the record, the next day was sunny and warm and it didn't rain the whole weekend including the afternoon of the run, so I am still bleak about that. Anyway, I highly recommend the Knysna Forest Marathon to anyone who is crazy enough to want to run it! The rest of the weekend was spent waddling around with stiff muscles and celebrating by eating oysters.... and of course looking at my shiny new medal!

Soundtrack for the Day: Back in Black - AC/DC

4. On the Vagaries of Travel with Air Zimbabwe

2009-07-03T07:57:00.003+02:00

I left Zimbabwe on a freezing cold Monday morning. My flight was scheduled for 11am. At 10.55 they told us, while we were waiting in the icy cold hangar that has openings near the roof to let in the wind, that there would be a 20 minute delay due to a technical fault. That made us very,very nervous.

The reason for the nervousness is that Air Zimbabwe has some Chinese planes called MA60s. They have propellers. In this day and age! Also, when Air Zim purchased them, they got 3 for the price of 2. Unfortunately they are not the most reliable of aircraft, so at the moment, one of them is grounded and they cannibalise it for spare parts for the other two. Seriously.

The 20 minute delay turned into a 2 hour delay and eventually at one o'clock we were allowed to board the plane. After we were seated, the first thing we saw is someone coming out of the cockpit with a toolbox. Not reassuring. Given the level of our nervousness, I was not impressed with the passenger next to me who duly informed me that one of the engines which we could see out the window was dripping something.

How I made it through that 2 hour flight I will never know, but I am grateful to report that we landed in Johannesburg without any incident. Flying Air Zim is a nervous business.

I know that I tease a lot about Bulawayo Airport being a converted aircraft hangar, but I have to say that Cape Town airport tops it. They are doing massive construction at the moment for the 2010 World Cup. This means that there are lots of temporary structures, but the best one is the boarding gates at the domestic terminal. They are in a TENT. Yes, a tent. And the best part, during the storms last weekend, it BLEW OVER. Beat that.

Soundtrack for the Day: Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits.

3. On Gaining Wisdom

2009-06-22T21:35:00.000+02:00

Being here has lead to some interesting insights on my part, having very little to do.

Coca Cola is the most refreshing thing on earth. Particularly at 4am when I can’t sleep and need a cigarette to get back to reality and forget about the nightmares. However, my mother thinks I drink too much and I have to hound her to replace the ones I’ve finished. Coke in Zim is different to Coke anywhere else. It comes in a glass bottle and NOTHING tastes like Coke in a glass bottle.

Cigarettes here are dirt cheap. The local ones that is. A carton of Marlboro Lights in SA wills et you back about R240. Here a carton of Newbury Lights (which are far smoother and superior in my humble opinion) will set you back R45. No contest. Guess what I’m bringing back to SA?

Potholes grow on a daily basis and they move too. It doesn’t matter if you think you know where the pothole was yesterday; you still need to be seriously alert because they grow. And they move. And they proliferate like rats. And yes, I still have to check for rats in my mother’s car.

Dawson’s Creek is a good show. I watch it every day on Go at 12.30 for 2 hours. See, I’ve sunk to new lows. Still, nothing beats Battlestar Galactica. Frak! I’ve also become addicted to the Golden Girls which is a serious classic – they are hilarious. The reason for this is someone dropped off a whole bunch of DVDs including 3 seasons of the Golden Girls. The clothes are awful but the humour is timeless. I’m now halfway through season 2. You see, there’s not much to do except watch DVDs here.

Cerelac and Nesquik in Zim has no equal. It’s my favourite healthy (not) breakfast. Chocolate Zim cerelac – YUM. For those of you that don’t know, cerelac is baby porridge. If it’s good enough for a 6 month old, it’s good enough for me.

People here have good ideas. I am seriously looking at going to Crete in the next month and working in a beach bar or something for the summer even though my Greek isn’t that great. It’s passable and it will improve while I’m there. I could do with some sun. And there’s no time like the present to do it while I’m unemployed, unencumbered and irresponsible.

The dial-up service here is terrible. It takes ages just to connect and check my webmail. But it turns out that broadbandis ridiculously expensive so it’s not really worth it. And it doesn’t work all that well from what I hear.

Conversation is king. When there’s a power cut, and it happens often, there is NOTHING to do. So you better have something to talk about. Most Zimbabweans are great conversationalists because of that.

When somewhere has a descriptive name like the Bat Cave, believe it. One night, a friend of mine offered to take me out on the town, so to speak. We stopped at Tin Cup, or Caddyshack for a drink which is on the driving range. We weren’t there long because after 5 people left, we were basically the only people in the joint. From there we decided to go to Busters as we had heard that quite a few people were going there. Buster’s is a rugby club and is as classy as the name suggests. We didn’t last there long either. Finally we went to this new club called the Bat Cave. It was quite far in Zim terms and dodging potholes at night on a road you don’t really know is always good for some entertainment. We finally got there and the place was as dark and dodgy as the name suggested. Some of the patrons rather closely resembled bats which explained the name to a large extent. The bar was almost impossible to get to with people cramming it 5 and 6 deep. For Bulawayo, I must say the place was pumping although I didn’t know a solitary soul. This is unusual for Zim but maybe I am just getting too old to frequent these places. The varsity kids should be back next week so it should be more festive and that way I will know one or two people, but only because they are my little sister’s friends!

Taking 2 sleeping pills at 1am means you will sleep till lunchtime. Not the smartest idea.

That’s pretty much all my collective wisdom for now, like I said, not too profound but hopefully interesting at the very least. Being somewhere like here makes you think weird things, that’s for sure.

Soundtrack of the day: Ma Baker – Boney M. A classic.

2. On Living in the Land of Milk and Honey

2009-05-26T19:46:00.001+02:00

Well, here I am in my beloved Zimbabwe and there are so many things about it that I love – and there are so many things that make me laugh.

Arriving at the airport I was truly amazed. 10 years on and they’ve finally put a roof on the airport building! I was amazed at the progress that had been made. In the meantime while they are building the new airport terminal which of course is for the masses of tourists coming to Bulawayo, the temporary terminal is in use. What this involves is landing on the (one) runway and then being bussed (imagine that, a bus instead of having to walk on the tarmac!) to the temporary terminal which is a converted corrugated iron aircraft hanger – no joke. The sign proudly proclaims “ Joshua Mqabukwe Nkomo “Temporary” Terminal” to all and sundry who arrive. Inside there is dry walling to separate customs and immigration from the waiting area and it’s about 100 degrees in there. Your luggage arrives through a whole in the wall and gets packed on a shelf and you retrieve it yourself. Just as well, because when there isn’t power, conveyer belts wouldn’t work anyway.

Another pleasant surprise greeted me when I left the airport tin shack - they have actually tarred the road leading to the airport – a vast improvement on the rutted and pitted dirt road that you used to have to drive on. Wow!

The potholes here are unreal – they are everywhere. To drive in Zimbabwe you need a PhD – a qualification in Pot Hole Driving. All the cars, which are going at a snail’s pace, wind over the road lurching like drunken sailors. If you see someone driving straight, you know they are drunk. And frequently dodging some of the larger potholes means swinging right onto the other side of the road onto oncoming traffic – which mercifully isn’t coming at you very fast. Half the robots (sorry, traffic lights) don’t work and even worse, some of them work only on one side so even if you think that the light isn’t working and you have to give way to your right, you better be careful that it isn’t green for the other side. The opportunities for accidents are limitless and yet they hardly ever happen.

Then the best thing ever. My mum and I were leaving to go to tea at a friend’s house and she shouted for Trust who is our houseboy / domestic worker / servant (I have no idea what’s politically correct anymore – he’s worked for us since I was a child). I asked her what she needed him for and she said that he had to come and check for rats in the car before she would get in. I thought she was joking, but apparently the rats come and hide in the engine overnight and chew all the wires, sometimes getting into the car. She found a dead one once under her seat and given the smell, it had been dead for some time. Only in Zim!

Trust has 6 children now and my mother keeps shouting at him that he mustn’t have more. They are Prince, Angela, Blessing, God Knows (yes God Knows), Alexandra and I can’t remember the name of the youngest. But the best is the story of how child no. 4 got his name. My mum asked Trust why he had named his son “God Knows” and Trust responded by saying “ Madam, I am not sure about that one, if he is mine.”

Everything here is available now which makes a vast difference to the last time I came here a year ago. The reason for this is that now everything can be paid for in foreign currency. So at every shop and petrol station there’s a sign with the rates for rands, US dollars, GBP sterling and pula. It makes a hell of a difference to be able to pull up to a petrol station and actually get fuel instead of the ubiquitous “No Fuel” signs that were dotted all over the city. You may have to queue for a bit, but only 4 or 5 cars instead of queues that stretch for 4 or 5 km. Apparently you have to shop around because the rates differ from US$0.95 to $1.10 but at least you can get it if you have the cash.

No rubbish gets collected because no one pays their rates any more - they are just too high. This morning when I went for a shower, the water pressure was so bad it took me ages to rinse the shampoo out of my hair because the water was just dripping from the showerhead. At least it was hot - but it turned out later that the water had been switched off. Never mind no power, no water is WAY worse. In the end there was a burst pipe down the road and they turned off the water to fix it (wow – on the same day! Highly unusual.) Dad initially thought they cut the water because he hadn’t paid – but at least it wasn’t that.

Even funnier, in town the parking meters don’t work because of course, there are no coins and they would never be able to cope with different currencies. So the town council came up with what they thought was an ingenious plan. You would have to go to Revenue Hall and pay for parking vouchers (standing in yet another interminable queue) and then display that on your car. If it had expired, or if you didn’t have one, they would clamp your car and you would have to pay a substantial fine to get the car released. The problem was that the clamps were the old type and they didn’t cover the hub of the clamped wheel, so motorists would simply jack up the car, take the wheel off, put the spare on and drive away. In the end you had loads of motorists with a clamped wheel in their boots and the city ran out of clamps. They gave up that idea and parking is free now. Only in Zim.

The weather here is gorgeous with long sunny days around 28 degrees with cloudless blue skies that are a shade of blue to be found nowhere else on earth and the nights are chilly. Even though most of the surrounds are overgrown with man-high grass (lack of rate-paying again) so many gardens and the outer border of the houses are well kept and beautifully maintained with emerald green grass that I have never seen anywhere else. Zim might be a crazy place, but it is beautiful.

I still have lots of friends here so it is really nice to be able to catch up and listen to the craziness that is my home. There’s nothing much else to do here but kick back and relax which is exactly what I am doing. At the moment I am halfway through my third book. I’m sure that because I am staying here for a month, I will have more funny stories to add whilst I continue to work my way through the library here at home and ponder my state of (un)employment, so watch this space!

Soundtrack for the day: Eminem feat. Dr Dre and 50 Cent - Crack a Bottle

1. On Being Gainfully Unemployed

2009-05-21T12:07:00.002+02:00

As I write this I consider my state of employment – which is to say that I am unemployed. Taking away the thought that I have no idea where my next pay cheque is coming from, it’s really great fun and quite relaxing not to have to be at work and all the stresses that come with that. All I need to do is potter around the flat, make the odd phone call and get my life into order. Add to that the fact that I am going to my beloved Zimbabwe on Saturday to sit on my bum for a month and it’s perfect!

I am going to Zimbabwe for several reasons. Firstly, if I am there I am not spending any money (and sponging off the folks). Secondly, there is nothing to do there at all so I will be forced to kick back and relax. And also I will have a good opportunity to ponder my future and what it really is that I want out of life. It’s a great chance to catch up on my reading – most of which will be recreational but some of which will be to look into what I am planning to do with the rest of my life. Or at least the next five years of it.

Plan A, which was to find a rich husband so that I can have some babies and never have to work again isn’t going so well, given the lack of supply and the crap quality of that supply here in Cape Town, so it’s Plan B that I will be focusing on. If Plan A happens to materialize in that time, fantastic. Plan B involves looking at whether or not I plan to change career direction. Right now, it’s definitely headed that way as I really don’t think I could stomach more of the same and the financial industry is KAK right now. I think I’ve had my fill. Most of us in the industry are always saying “Five years and I’m out of here.” Well, that time has come for me, it’s a bit earlier than most, but I’m out. And now for the rest…

All my life I’ve wanted to fly helicopters. Since I was about two years old in fact. I did look into it but needing R200,000 and trying to get a loan with that amount is nigh impossible when you’re unemployed. Another plan of action is to become an airline pilot, something I am seriously considering. I found out that SAA is offering a 2 year cadet training course in the form of a training bond. What that means is that you train for 2 years and afterwards, if SAA offer you a job and you don’t take it you have to pay back the training costs. It’s the only way to do it without putting up a large cash outlay at the outset. Other airlines I have looked into have discontinued the training programme and are looking for experienced pilots which doesn’t help me much. What is worrying is that all one requires is a matric and needs to be preferably up to 25 years of age. At 33, I am pushing it, but it can’t hurt to try.

Other options I was looking at were becoming a firefighter or training as a paramedic. Firefighting in this country doesn’t pay well and places like New Zealand are not recruiting at the moment so that’s out the window for the time being. Even though I am a volunteer wildfire firefighter it’s only the city and building guys that have paying jobs so I’d need to retrain anyway. Paramedic training is relatively cheap and doesn’t take that long to do but given the strikes that have been going on in this country it doesn’t seem to be a good paying job. My other plan was to train as a paramedic, work in the UK for 2 years, to prove that I have been there and qualify somehow for the EU reduced university rates so I can go to med school and train to be a psychiatrist. I think that might be Plan C if the airline pilot thing doesn’t work out.

As you can see I have a lot to think about and that’s where I stand at the moment. Things do change and maybe some of the reading I will do will shed more light or open more avenues. I am reading a career book called “What Colour is Your Parachute” - the 2009 edition about finding jobs in hard times that looks like it will be a great help. In the meantime, even though we are in the middle of a recession, it’s exciting to be taking this leap into the unknown and embarking on a new adventure. If nothing else, it will provide fodder for for this blog!

Song for the day: Everyone’s At It – Lily Allen। Fantastic lyrics and a seriously catchy tune।