5. On Running Marathons and Other Incidentals

This past weekend I went to Knysna to run the Forest Half Marathon. Bear in mind that I managed to miss 5 weeks of the 8 week training programme to run 21km, so I wasn't exactly in what you would call good shape. Nevertheless everything was booked, so I went. We got up at 4am, had breakfast and caught the bus to the start. It was pitch black at this point and fairly cold although not as cold as it had been in previous years (or so I heard.)

After sitting around (whereupon I had 4 cigarettes) for what seemed like ages in the dark watching the sun rise, we moved to the start for the 8am gun to get us going. At this point I already knew that there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to run 21km, but I was pretty sure that I could at least walk the route. At 8am, we were off and I started walking, mostly because at this point it was uphill. I ended up walking most of the way as it turned out and my excuse was that I was distracted by the trees. The Knysna route is one of the most beautiful in the world, going through the forest along a dirt trail.

By now, most people had passed me as I was agonisingly slow, but I wasn't too concerned although I knew there was a good chance that I wouldn't make the 3 and a half hour cut off time. I had tried to go to the loo as I was advised beforehand but without success - and I hate those portable loos with a passion as well. However, about 3km into the race, nature placed a call. I thought for some reason that I would be able to hold it in for another 17km. Silly me.

By now there was no one around me except for a guy and a lady behind me so I must have been close to last it seemed. Eventually at the 8km mark, I caught up with two girls who turned out to be a bundle of fun. We chatted and laughed and carried on our merry way, mostly walking and occasionally running the downhill bits. By now, nature's call was most insistent and I could see up ahead around 10km that we were leaving the forest and joining the marathon runners on the road. It was now or never, so I disappeared into the bushes for a pee. Ah sweet relief! I know no one saw me because at that point I was last... Just as well I went when I did because there was no chance to go after that. As we passed one of the water stations we definitely must have been last because they were cleaning up and one guy asked if I cared to help at which point I asked him if he wanted to swap. He declined. I wonder why.

We carried on through the golf estate with breathtaking views and at one point one of the girls asked me if I had any cigarettes. I did, because I was worried that when I got to the finish it would be hours before I had access to tobacco and nicotine. She suggested we have one. The funniest sight as we shared a cigarette was the marathon runners coming past us craning their necks in disbelief. Can't a girl have a smoke in peace?

By now, it had started to rain and I discovered that my waterproof jacket wasn't. It was sticking to me like a cheap tent. I felt like a drowned rat (and on getting back to the hotel later discovered that I looked like one too). The weather the day before had been sunny and warm with the evening being cool and someone said that it hadn't rained since November. So why it chose to rain on the day we ran is quite beyond me. Of all the days! We got to a water station to find that they were serving brown sherry so we stopped for a couple of tots before continuing on our merry and wet way.

As we got further it became evident that we would not make the cutoff time but I couldn't bring myself to move any faster either being so wet and cold. My hands had frozen into a bunch of blue bananas by now.

Just before we got to the finish, some friends of the girls I was with drive past in a car and jumped out to escort us to the finish line, encouraging us. As we got onto the field where the finish line was we broke into a run which turned into a sprint as we heard the commentator say "1 minute to go". Initially I thought this was the cutoff time and that we may have actually made it, but with 12 seconds to go there was still 100m to cover so we didn't make it. And we found out later that it was the 4 hour cutoff for the marathon runners!

Still, we made it through and once we were at the finish, the guys we were with gave us their medals because we weren't going to get any as we had finished late. Then someone pressed something into my hand and I saw that it was a medal! I think they might have confused me with a marathon runner, but I took it anyway!

Once I had met up with my friends and tried not to fall over, the first thing I did was light a cigarette - but smoking in the rain is not really all that fun, particularly when your fingers are so cold it's almost impossible to light it.

Still, it was a great experience, having made the route in 4 hours and coming 3rd last! (smoke breaks, rain and peeing in the bushes notwithstanding) The best part after that was the hot bath that I ran as soon as I got back to the hotel. The atmosphere on the run (walk!) was great, people and runners alike were so friendly and despite the rain and the cold, it was a truly fantastic experience. For the record, the next day was sunny and warm and it didn't rain the whole weekend including the afternoon of the run, so I am still bleak about that. Anyway, I highly recommend the Knysna Forest Marathon to anyone who is crazy enough to want to run it! The rest of the weekend was spent waddling around with stiff muscles and celebrating by eating oysters.... and of course looking at my shiny new medal!

Soundtrack for the Day: Back in Black - AC/DC

4. On the Vagaries of Travel with Air Zimbabwe

I left Zimbabwe on a freezing cold Monday morning. My flight was scheduled for 11am. At 10.55 they told us, while we were waiting in the icy cold hangar that has openings near the roof to let in the wind, that there would be a 20 minute delay due to a technical fault. That made us very,very nervous.

The reason for the nervousness is that Air Zimbabwe has some Chinese planes called MA60s. They have propellers. In this day and age! Also, when Air Zim purchased them, they got 3 for the price of 2. Unfortunately they are not the most reliable of aircraft, so at the moment, one of them is grounded and they cannibalise it for spare parts for the other two. Seriously.

The 20 minute delay turned into a 2 hour delay and eventually at one o'clock we were allowed to board the plane. After we were seated, the first thing we saw is someone coming out of the cockpit with a toolbox. Not reassuring. Given the level of our nervousness, I was not impressed with the passenger next to me who duly informed me that one of the engines which we could see out the window was dripping something.

How I made it through that 2 hour flight I will never know, but I am grateful to report that we landed in Johannesburg without any incident. Flying Air Zim is a nervous business.

I know that I tease a lot about Bulawayo Airport being a converted aircraft hangar, but I have to say that Cape Town airport tops it. They are doing massive construction at the moment for the 2010 World Cup. This means that there are lots of temporary structures, but the best one is the boarding gates at the domestic terminal. They are in a TENT. Yes, a tent. And the best part, during the storms last weekend, it BLEW OVER. Beat that.

Soundtrack for the Day: Brothers in Arms - Dire Straits.